How to find a husband or wife the God’s way

Finding a partner, match, husband, wife the God's way
Finding a partner, match, husband, wife the God’s way

How do you find a husband or wife the God’s way? Does the Bible teach this? Yes!

Every person at a certain time in life needs his/her perfect partner created specifically for him/her. How to find your specifically created partner is the issue and many people go astray in this stage of life.

How to find a husband or wife the God’s way

Finding a  husband or wife the God’s way needs bible understanding and wisdom. The big question  is:-

  1. Should a Christian search for a husband or wife?  and
  2. How is one supposed to do it in a biblical Godly way?

Worldly way of finding a husband or wife

Because every person needs a partner at some point in life, the world has provided its ways of finding a husband or wife. The world, Satan,  is a snare to Christians and many have fallen to its deception.

The world tells you, ‘go and search for a husband or wife‘. It teaches and gives you everything you need but it neither promises nor guarantees a perfect heavenly partner.

See 3 must qualities of a perfect partner

Churches and many Christians have accepted and fallen to world’s knowledge and wisdom. Many churches are preaching and teaching how to find a husband or wife the worldly way.

Satan main agenda is to take Jesus Christ away from this world. He has taken away the power of the creator in finding a husband or wife, and funny that Christians even the so called ‘men of God’ have fallen to his snare and they cannot see this.

Should a Christian search for a husband or wife

To answer this question correctly, lets us go back to creation for answers.

God created first Adam and He put him in the Garden of Eden.

And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there he put the man whom he had formed (Gen 2:7-8).

Adam was all alone in the Garden of Eden with only animals and plants, and he didn’t feel lonely. But God knew that at a certain time, Adam will feel lonely and start looking for a helper or companion; he will need a partner.

Therefore, God saw that it was not good for Adam to be alone.

Gen 2:18: And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

God took the step to make Adam a helper. He did not go directly to give Adam his helper because Adam was comfortable and satisfied in his state of loneliness. Therefore, God had to make Adam feel lonely, feel the need.

He gave Adam a task to perform.

God created all animals and brought them to Adam to see what he would call them.

Gen 2:19: And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them: and whatsoever Adam called every living creature, that was the name thereof.

NB: Realize that verse 18 comes before verse 19 and this is not a mistake. 

Gen 2:20: And Adam gave names to all cattle, and to the fowl of the air, and to every beast of the field; but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him.

The animals were in pairs and Adam gave them all names e.g. Mr. and Mrs. giraffe, Mr. and Mrs. lion, Mr. and Mrs. warthog, Mr. and Mrs. elephant e.t.c. But in the last line of verse 20 it is said, ‘but for Adam there was not found a help meet for him.

At that point Adam felt his loneliness and in need of a partner. After Adam realized his loneliness, God did not give him a chance to look for a companion.

Immediately the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon Adam and he slept: and he took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh instead thereof. And the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man (Gen 2:21-22).

It is God who created and brought a woman to man (Adam) not Adam searching or looking for his wife. God did not tell Adam to go look for a partner.

And when God brought the woman to Adam, this is what Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man (Gen 2:23).

Just from the first look at the woman, Adam realized that she was his perfect partner. Why? Because Adam saw bone of his bones, flesh of his flesh. Reason he named her woman because she was taken out of him.

Gen 2:24-25: Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.

Lessons learned from God creating Adam a partner

From Genesis chapter 2 seen above, we learn the following important lessons.

1. When you were created, and put in the Garden of Eden (the world), you did not feel lonely in need of a husband or wife.

Being young, you had no need of a opposite sex partner and you did not even know anything about the opposite sex but God knew there is a time you will need a partner of the opposite sex. Like Adam, you lived in the Garden of Eden, the world, comfortable satisfied and feeling complete; no loneliness.

2. Even in your creation, God knew it is not good for you to be alone and He is in the process of making you realize your loneliness.

Yes! God knew when creating you that a time will come when you will feel lonely and need a partner. Like Adam, He gives you a task and in the process you realize your loneliness. Reason verse 18 of Genesis 2 comes before verse 19 and this is not a mistake.

3. We do not feel lonely or realize we need a husband or wife until God gives us the need.

Yes! It is until God intervenes and makes you feel lonely when you realize that you need a helper. It is until God triggers your hormones in the body, or like Adam He gives you a task to perform, for you to realize you need a partner of the opposite sex. A time comes for every person when s/he realizes s/he needs a husband or wife.

4.  At the right time, God does something that makes you realize you are alone in need of a partner.

He gave Adam the task of naming animals and to you and me, He also gives us a task to perform to realize our loneliness. It may be going to a wedding party, a social event, walking seeing couples happy together  etc or He may trigger your body hormones, etc.

5. After realizing you are lonely in need of a partner, God creates one for you by making you sleep and takes your rib.

When you feel lonely, needing a husband or wife, do not go to search but instead sleep. Many people don’t obey God in this point and God gives them out to their stupidity. Going out to search or find your helper is un-Godly, un-Biblical.

God does not force Himself to man, therefore to sleep or not to is your decision but God will tell you ‘sleep‘. The time you are asleep like Adam, it is the time when God creates your exact match.

Sleeping means that you do not go to search or act in anyway but letting your mind (soul) and body sleep on this issue; living like you do not feel lonely, like you do not care about that.

By sleeping, you allow God do His creation which He began and He will accomplish by giving you your exact heavenly made husband or wife at the right time and place.

6. God does not give His own a chance or allow them to search for their husband or wife.

His own are those who truly obey Him but realize He does not force Himself to you; God always lets man choose his/her way. After Adam realized that he needed a helper, God did not tell Adam ‘search, go find’.

If Adam was allowed to find, what could he come out with as a helper, a partner, a companion? An ape, a monkey, a gorilla, a cow, a goat; straight an animal.

When you go out to search for a helper, a companion, a partner, husband or wife, without allowing God to create one for you, you come out with an animal.

Many people even Christians have disobeyed God reason marriages are not marriages because we have gone out to search, came out with an animal and married an animal.

7. It is God who brings the perfect match He has created to you.

You just have to sleep and your Godly Heavenly created perfect husband or wife will be brought to you at the right time and place. Go on with your life as though there is nothing you need, like you do not feel the need.

Focus on God and He will bring the perfect partner He has created for you at the right time and when you will see her/him at the first time, like Adam you will say, ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man (Gen 2:23)’.

Yes! The first time God presents your helper to you, you will see him/her and surely know and say, ‘that is she or he’. S/he is my bone of bones and flesh of my flesh’. My husband or my wife’.

People who have stuck with God and obeyed Him, they have found their dream partners. Ask any one of them if they realized the first time they saw each other if s/he was the one. The answer is Yes!

Wait for God, you can wait!

Therefore fellow Christians and every person who will come across this article, learn to obey God. Sleep and wait for God to create and bring your perfect partner at the right time and place. He will definitely do it at the right time.

Going out to search or find a husband or wife is going against God plan of creation; creating you.

For those who went out as the world teaches, searched and married see when you marry the wrong person

God bless you


  1. Thank you a million times for this. It is such a blessing May GOd bless you for making this article. I appreciate it. I feel like I just got saved from the world’s way by doing it now God’s way. 🙂
    Do you have any suggestions on how to nicely rejects people that come from the enemy? If you could do an article on that I’d appreciate it.

    • Thank you too. Thank you so much.

      I am happy to hear that you have being saved from the world ways and now you are in the light. God help you so much and be with you as you wait.

      That is a nice suggestion but i suggest you ask God for wisdom to deal with these people.

      God bless you too

  2. You’re really talking. God bless you. Many of our youths today out of anxiety for marriage have backslided, and committed fornication. I really need to share this, and don’t know if you could please send it to same user name above on facebook.

  3. Hi servant of God, i now ask, when a man loses his wife, (die} that who was bone and his flesh, where will a spare rib to make another woman come from (remarry)?

  4. In the very first vision I had, Father showed me about a birth of a child to come. I did not even have a girlfriend then. I also have not even met my wife yet!! My wife and I were told to marry, by our Lord. We had no money, were not even in love but belonged to the same church youth group. We obeyed and out first was born “at the turn of the year” as showed.

    I like you site as I do not see you proclaiming to be this big senior pastor, or having a string of titles. Instead, I read ‘servant of God” and that did really impress.

  5. I thank God for speaking through his servant, since 4 years I have been angry, having recentnent against my parents for not searching and getting me a groom according to our customs, causing them greviousness, even though time and again my dad would say wait on the lord. Please do pray for me so that I may grow more in the Lord, become a vessel of honour for Jesus

  6. Interesting idea. Honestly, the idea of sleep as “method” had never crossed my mind. The blowback and absurdly bad results of “seeking” I can well attest to! May our High-Holy Captain guide you to days everlasting!

  7. You are truly a Gifted young man of God….hoping that the Lord blesses you with
    a Godly woman, and lots of children!

  8. Thanks so much for this revelation; I was in the dark searching and asking family for help. I believe God has a plan for me because I have been introduced to few but I cannot connect spiritually with any, but today God has directed me to this truth and I have been delivered from the plan of the enemy.
    I will definitely sleep and allow God to make and bring me my perfect partner.

  9. When Adam slept,in other ways,God killed him..death has always been interpreted by sleep in the bible..
    E.g: When the Lord jesus was told that Lazarus was dead,he said,no: he’s asleep..John 11:11..and in Marc 5:39And entering in, He said to them, “Why make a commotion and weep? The child has not died, but is asleep.” therefore,we understand that the deep sleep of Adam was death..and when he woke up,he found Eve,his wife…1corinthians 15:45-46..And so it is written, “The first man Adam became a living being.”[a] The last Adam became a life-giving spirit.
    46 However, the spiritual is not first, but the natural, and afterward the spiritual..
    Adam in the garden of eden,was the shadow of the genuine Adam which is the Lord jesus-christ..that’s why Jesus on the Cross of calvary,God has to put him into a deep sleep like Adam in the garden of Eden for the spiritual Eve,which is the bride to be manifested..Notice that when the soldier pierced his side,water then blood came out.. when a woman gives birth naturally in the hospital,it’s always water that comes first then blood then we all know that the babe will be next…Jesus was giving birth to the spiritual eve on the cross..tat’s why water+blood then the spiritual eve which is the true church of the living God was manifested…Adam in the garden was put into a deep sleep which is death,and God also pierced his side to take his rib,blood came out and we all know that blood is life,for the soul of all living creatures are found in the blood..Leviticus 17:11-14.. When a brother wants to get married,he first need to die,which is also interpreted as a strong prayer,he needs to pray as he never did before,die completely,he needs to forget himself,to stop living,for God to manifest your eve and when you woke up from your deep sleep,you will find your Eve…God bless you all..

    • Points of correction.

      1. Spiritual always comes first before natural. Before adam was, Jesus was. If your spiritual being comes after natural being, you are a carnal human being heading to hell. If spiritual being comes first than your natural being, you are a spiritual man

      2. On the cross Jesus Christ gave birth to the church not eve. There is no spiritual eve or spiritual Adam

  10. My friend, what kind of hermeneutical principle are you using in comparing the story of Adam’s being presented a mate with a Christian’s longing for one? Adam would not, for one, have chosen an animal if left to his own; their is no evidence in the text to make that conclusion. He saw all the animal pairs, and realized that he, too, needed a mate/helper, but there is no idication that he was leaning towards an animal. Also, nowhere are we instrutced to allegorically “sleep” so that God will present us with a mate, and neither is the idea that there is only “one” specific mate for us biblical. When Isaac needed a wife, his father sent a servant out to find one; he was active, not passive. Your allegorizing of Scripture is not valid, and could have potentially negative consequences. Sorry to be so forward, but I believe that it needs to be said.

    • When Isaac needed a wife The Lord himself guided the path for finding one that was already prepared for him, please have a closer look in the bible.

  11. I agree with Lee. This is a very unbiblical article on marriage and very much a twisting of Scripture! How detrimental for the person who didn’t follow this “way” of finding a mate and then labeling what “they” found, as their mate, as “an animal” (section 6). The Bible says that man has been made in the image of God in Gen 1:26-27 and James 3:9, they are not animals or “allegorically animals.” Then you also must answer this question, if what you are saying is true (which I disagree with completely) then what are you going to do with this Scripture “he who FINDS a wife, FINDS a !!good thing!! and obtains FAVOR from the LORD” proverbs 18:22. It says here that the man !found! the wife and Gods favor was with him. And what about the fact that even though “man plans his ways but the Lord directs his steps” pro 16:9 ultimately God is sovereign over mans steps anyway! This article is definitely one that can wreck damage in the lives of married couples and the enemy could have a major foothold if this type of counsel takes root.

    Dear Jesus, please lead us all closer to you and allow us to receive knowledge from you in this area of our lives. Deliver us from the evil one and any seeds that could keep us from knowing the truth which sets us free. In Jesus name. Amen.

    • To understand, you need wisdom. I have neither call a human being an animal as you claim. Not all men are led by Jesus Christ; not all men are Gods.

      If you get a wife who kills you, chops of your manhood, etc, is that a good thing. Men get wives but not all get good wives; there is good and bad wife. It is a good thing to have a wife but a better thing to have a good wife

    • In proverbs 19:22 it says that who finds a good wife finds happiness; and after it says that ths is a gift from God , then we conclude that the pastor is right. He is enlightened by God.

  12. This is a really nice article. I agree fully with it. However,I have a question. What should a couple do when they decide to go to sleep when they are dating?Should they stop talking?Or what should happen?
    Please advise

  13. where I worship we are encouraged to marry in the Lord. I came from a very worldly life. I really did not until recently even understand why we should just marry fellow believers/ that the unbeliever may turn against you because they are of the other spiritual side. For this reason I was only dating worldly people, because I did not understand. I met someone 2 1/2 years ago. They seem to be there no matter what. They also seem interested in getting married. They seem warm feelings to me. Its confusing.

  14. Yess!! Thank God. Looking for a partner is exausting, of course their will be some work to do, but at least now I know I’m not a creep…lol.

    Great article

  15. wow, man of God, you have spoken directly to me, I have been searching and comparing different men to a point where l am confused which one to choose. After reading this today l have decided to sleep and let God do His work in me. may God bless you for teaching me the truth today, Amen.

  16. Thanks for this post! I agree with it 100% however there are christian people in my life that always telling me why I’m not married, I need to hurry and go to churches to look for ahusband, etc. What they say just gives me stress! It is not hard for me to go and find myself a man but all of the once I “worked on” didn’t last. God told me through a prophet that He was the one that seperated us because He has someone else for me. So all I want to do now is wait on God and He’s timing. What would be the best answer to tell the people who always ask me and give me their tips on how to find a men?

    • Thank you so much.

      Is church a market place for people to search for wifes/husbands or it is a place to seek God? People today are truly lost.

      You need only Jesus sister. At the right time, He will show you your husband.

      Ignore all other voices

      God is with you

  17. Comment:have liked this article for starters. however my quiz is ‘are we suppose to wait passively or we do something that da lord may bless da work of our hands?. and how do we incoperate the idea of free will that da lord has given us

    • Wait.

      One of the lies always told is that you do something for God. God has never needed human beings help. And not always everything we do and think of is inline with Gods will reason you must wait upon the Lord

  18. Thank u for this article. this what i believed from the time i got born again but it’s been hard being around people who don’t but will rather see u marry just someone . it’s sad people give more importance to “being married ” than “who u marry” . if u just want to get married u will do anything to marry but if u see marriage as two coming together for Gods greater purpose it’s easier to “sleep ” . this is stress free. u focus on Gods plan for your life n you will “accidentally” meet the right one, avoiding the headache of searching n break ups

  19. Hmm! Thank you man of God! What i realize is that God knows us and he has a plan and very good plan! He has good things in store for us (good wive or husband, good wealth etc) all we need to do is to stick on his will

  20. waaw,I thank God for that message from you servant of God.

    I ‘ve asking myself questions over this issue of searching,
    and how to reach the right woman

  21. Hi thank you for this article. My question is am almost 30 and have been praying waiting now as God told me to wait some years back I guess am just worried that time is going how long I should wait. The person I feel God has revealed isn’t a believer please tell me what to do… I just need peace in my heart

  22. God bless you Joshua..This article, I wish there was someone to tell me this 5 years ago, before i got into a relationship with a non believer..Anyway then i wasnt serious with the Lord..

    Please guys wait on the LORD patiently, He will come through for you and help you avoid years of heartache and pain..His choice is the best..

    I wonder what happens to those people married to the wrong partners..

    God Bless you..

    • Praise Jesus Christ

      God is with you

      Since you are married now to the wrong partner, the time you married, that marriage became God’s. Remember Jacob was given Leah first, the wrong partner and he did not divorce her?

  23. My girlfriend dumped me today by saying yes to someone to go on a date right in front of my face and walked away from me as soon as she said yes

  24. Thanks for this wonderful article man of God. An eye opener 🙂 I do have a question though : I was with the wrong partner and he happened to be a married man. After 4 yrs into our relationship, we had a child together.I am now seeing someone who is also a believer but really not sure if he’s the one God plans for me marry. Am also confused whether it is possible to marry after having a child in my previous relationship? would that be a sin if iam to marry? Please help me understand.I have also been praying for God to give me the wisdom to make the right decision and I guess am going to have to sleep and let God decide for me. God bless

    • Thank you

      1. You were already married, became one flesh, reason you have a child – you are a married woman. What you are looking for is divorce. Yes! you became married to a married man = sexual immorality

      2. If you marry another person, you will be commiting sexual immolarity

      Therefore, what is the solution

      1. Repent your sins first. Repent for sexual immorality, becoming one flesh with a married man and entering in another persons marriage – you were destroying another persons marriage – putting it asunder

      2. After truly repenting, pray and wait for God to direct you. If it is God’s Will He will give you another partner after cleaning your past sins with His blood and cancelling the covenant you had with the married man – reason you need to truly repent first

  25. That’s a good lesson .Every one who is searching needs to read and understand. In fact this is where most of the believers fail completely.

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